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Dear Eze,
I’ve been living and farming out on the Beckixn’s Ridge outside of Mittflare for three years now, and business has been pretty good. I moved out here because I was tired of the constant noise and crowding in the city and I wanted to build a home somewhere quiet, and honestly, it’s been great. The number of people I have to deal with has dropped to maybe five. It’s taken some time and hard work to get established, but I’ve been at it long enough now that my income is steady, and I rarely have to leave the mountain these days.
The thing is, I think my mail carrier hates me.
Every time he’s up here, which is usually twice a week with produce orders or deliveries, I can hear him grumbling under his breath, and I swear he is glaring at me almost constantly.
I mean, I kind of get it? I'm a fair ways out of Mittflare, and coming out to me probably takes up half of this guy’s day. My nearest neighbor is a full three parcels over, so, while it’s not like I’m fully isolated, I'm still pretty out of the way.
Because I don't want to be a huge inconvenience or anything I've told him he can just send the mail with the guy who comes to pick up produce for the grocers once a week if the hike out here is too much for him, but if anything I think that made him angrier. He went completely red in the ears and, I may have hallucinated it, but it sure looked like steam was coming off him a little?
Anyway, I don't want one of the few remaining interactions I have in my life to be so tense and uncomfortable, but, short of moving again, I don't know what to do! I'm usually out working on the farm when he comes by, so it’s not like I can avoid him. Do I leave a sign that says to leave packages on the porch and run away every time he starts up the drive? Accept that he hates me and try to ignore it?
I’d hate to think I've really offended him, so if there is a way to fix this I would love to do it.
As a people person, do you have any advice on how I can approach this?
Thanks for listening,
-Flailing in Farmland
Dear Flailing,
I'm glad to hear your farm is doing well! It sounds like it was a big change, and I'm thrilled it's working out for you (mostly). And I get it, it sucks when the energy between you and someone you have to interact with regularly is so awkward.
I wouldn't worry too much about your place being so out of the way. In general, mail carriers have some say over the routes they work, so it's likely that yours choose the one with you on it and knew what he was getting into! Your route being a bit of a hike might even be a bonus for him- maybe he likes all the travel and the quiet, and just has resting rokface.
You said he was literally steaming? Sounds like he might be an Anthracobia- they're known to literally steam when experiencing specific emotions (usually anything particularly strong that gets the blood pumping). I know this doesn't necessarily discount his attitude towards you, but be positive! Maybe he's just embarrassed you noticed he was acting oddly. There are all sorts of reasons that don't amount to hatred, so don't make caps out of crevices just yet.
My advice? You’re not under any obligation to make friends with your mailman, but it is worth it to keep it cordial. Maybe offer him a beverage sometime, or a light snack if it suits. He’s running all over the mountain all day he's bound to be thirsty. And getting to know each other a little better over a mid-day (or whenever he comes by) treat might be all it takes for him to relax around you.
Reaching out might be a little uncomfortable to start, but a little discomfort in the beginning could lead to a pleasant relationship in the future. You never know until you try.
Keep on keeping on,
-Eze C
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